Weaning your Breastfeeding Toddler

OK. Let's talk about weaning. Weaning is a sensitive topic for many people and I am included in that bunch. Everyone has their own opinion as to when it should happen, how it should happen, why it should happen. Ugh. I am one of those moms who nursed their baby until she was a little over 3 years old. And even then I could have gone much longer, but I weaned for various reasons. The amount of weird looks, eye rolls, and comments I got from people when hearing I was "STILL NURSING" was ridiculous, but I learned not to let it bother me. Every mom and baby is different. Everyone's reasons for weaning are different. Why can't we all just support each other and let people do what's best for them??? Ugh.

Anyway, this post is for people looking towards weaning their toddler. If you are someone who finds it offensive to see a toddler nursing, please just look away and mind your own business. This post is not for you and no one is asking you to read it. But for those of you wanting my best tips for toddler weaning, here you go! I hope you find it helpful, as I know this is not an easy thing for you OR your baby.

That being said, weaning a full-blown toddler is much different than weaning an infant. BOTH are fine, but they are just different. Toddlers are now at an age where they can understand a lot of what is going on. You can actually reason with them to a degree. And also, they do not NEED it the way an infant does. So for those reasons alone, the way we go about it is far from the same.

Toddler Tip #1: Distraction

This is by far my most important tip. Toddlers are busy little people, so KEEP them busy. Sometimes toddlers will resort to nursing when they're bored, so try not to let that happen. If they're not thinking about it, they likely won't ask for it.

Toddler Tip #2: Stretch longer between feeds

This kind of goes hand-in-hand with distraction. When they ask to nurse, you can say something like "Hey, let's build this castle together first and then we will do milk after!" Pick something they like that you know will buy you a solid amount of time, and you can continue stretching out the time between feeds until you start dropping one at a time. If you want to wean, you want your milk to wean with you so that you do not have engorgement issues.

Toddler Tip #3: Taper the length of the sessions

Again, we want to keep BUSY. As you are about to nurse, say something like "Ok, you can have some milk but only for 3 minutes because I need to start making dinner." This way they are getting their milk as requested, but you are pre-warning them that it will be quick for whatever reason. As stated earlier, you want your milk to wean with you so that you do not have engorgement issues.

As you continue to cut down on the number of feedings and session lengths, your milk will adjust accordingly.

Toddler Tip #4: Stop Pumping

If you haven't already stopped pumping, now is the time. Your body needs to get on board with the weaning process and pumping more than your baby is demanding is definitely counterproductive. If you are about to burst, by all means, pump a bit to get yourself comfortable. But do not express it all, otherwise you are telling your body you need it.

Toddler Tip #5: Talk to them about it

I had many conversations with my toddler prior to officially cutting it off. I talked about how we weren't going to be able to nurse for much longer and how she is growing up and doesn't need it anymore. I talked about how even when we do stop, I will be there to cuddle her and kiss her always. We actually had some pretty sad conversations, but I wanted her not to be blindsided when the time did come. I plan to write exactly about my story in another post, in case others are wanting to hear about it. It is important to know that these little humans are smart. They understand more than we think, and this is an emotional thing for them just like it is for us. So have conversations, talk about it. And when it's time to have the final one, you will know.

Toddler Tip #6: Stick to the plan

Like I said earlier, toddlers are smart. So smart that they know exactly what to say to make you feel bad and want to cave in. My baby continued asking to nurse for months after weaning. But stick to your plan if you are ready to wean, otherwise you will just confuse them. Explain that after you wean your milk will be gone and you cannot get it back. Eventually, they will accept it. And so will we, even if we're sobbing in the bathroom about it.

Sending hugs to you weaning mamas. It is not easy, and it can be very emotional. But you did amazing and should be so proud of your nursing journey! Your bond will last a lifetime......xoxo